Sitting in a meeting at work (shhhhh, don’t tell) I was pondering what to write for this blog. I wanted to chat about a subject we can all relate to—so, my mind went to—Marriage? Nah. Motherhood? Nah. Anxiety? Nah. Friendship? YES!
We all need friends.
As a girl, we moved often. For a number of years, I felt it wasn’t safe for me to commit to a real friendship. Goodbyes were too difficult.
Then, in high school, I started dating my (now) husband. My life pretty much revolved around him throughout those four years. (I’m not endorsing that as a healthy relationship for a teenager—it’s just the truth of my life.) Because of that, I didn’t really have close friends during that time.
You know all those cute Memes with pictures of little girls hugging—the description talking about the friends you’ve had for life?
Yah. I never had that. I can’t imagine it.
Even after I married, I had a few “couple” friends and I had “work” friends, but I just didn’t have girlfriends—a network—a safety net.
Looking back, (hindsight being 20/20), I can see how that likely contributed to my anxiety, depression, and OCD. {Ooops, I said I wasn’t going to talk about those subjects. BUT, they are all intertwined, I think. Don’t you?}
I didn’t have a female in my life that I could confide in—REALLY be open and transparent with—so, I bottled things up. No one knew the things going on in my mind. I didn’t have a girlfriend that I could share my struggles with.
It wasn’t until I was in my (eh hum) 40’s that I learned the real value of the Girlfriend Connection. MY FORTIES! That’s a lot of years to learn the importance of friendship. (A lot of years wasted).
I had a breakdown of sorts (let’s be honest—I shut completely down for a while), and when I started coming “back”, I made a choice to change the course of my life. I realized I needed girls in my life who could “pour” into me. I began opening up and reaching out to make relationships.
Look. You have to reach out to receive. Don’t expect people to come begging to be your friend. Take the initiative and let someone know, “Hey, I like you. Let’s get to know each other better.”
It was scary at first. I invited some girls for coffee or a bite to eat. It was awkward. It was. I mean…it’s very similar to a first date in ways…”Will they like me? Will I say something dumb? What if we have nothing in common?” But, you know what? It paid off! One of those friends is now one of my “bestest” friends! If a week goes by without a GTO (Girls Time Out) we go through withdrawals. #seriously
Now when I start to feel “blue”, I have friends I can go to who speak encouragement to me, who pray for me and who sometimes say, “Get over yourself, Lisa”. :p
Instead of holding in my fears, anxiety, –frustration—I have friends I can reach out to. And, you know what? They are always there for me! Always.
Oh, and wait. There’s more. We laugh. We giggle. We eat. We shop. We giggle some more. AND, we cry. We gripe. We love. We support.
It’s a two way street—friendship is. You have to give to receive. You have to BE a friend to EARN a friend.
Do you feel lonely? Are you missing out on true friendship? Take a risk. Reach out to someone and see if something blossoms. There is a garden of friendship waiting for you—sometimes it just needs to be planted.
Xoxo <3